Let Me Love You

Good morning yall!
We have made it halfway through this week, and its kind of been a tough one around here. Anyone else? I take pleasure in the tiny victories that come with each day. 
Got all the kids bathed and in PJs- VICTORY!
Got dinner on the table before bedtime- VICTORY!
Finished decorating my teacher friend's door for Spring- VICTORY!
Didn't eat an entire box of Girl Scout cookies today-  VICTORY!

You see? You've got to celebrate where you can because there is plenty not-so-celebratory moments in life that can weigh you down.

So this morning, hubs got up with the kids (after 3 snoozes and me shaking him with "Its your turn!!") he started the morning routine of getting ready for school. However, I remembered that this morning is WACKY WEDNESDAY (shoutout to Dr. Suess!) so Emmy was supposed to dress wacky and have wacky hair. Which, Dan can handle because anytime he gets the kids ready for school it could be wacky Wednesday.... (cue drum ba dum ching). Let's just say he isn't the best at putting together an outfit (yes, even uniforms) or fixing the girls' hair. Anyway, so I get up and get some fun things for Emmy to wear and get her hair done all crazy and off they go to school.
I try to go back to bed. I lay there for a few mins and give up. So what's a girl to do? Check Facebook of course!! There is so much going on... always.

A message in a group chat with close friends draws my attention. I fell asleep really early last night so I check and see what I missed.
Heartbreak. A few situations that are really hard that people around me are going through.
I scroll through Facebook.
Heartbreak. So many people are dealing with hard things.
I see one post of a Bible verse about loving one another. A sweet friend who is dealing with major loss in her life posts this verse and shares her heart. How we need to be loving one another. We are all dealing with major stuff. A lot of us don't share it with others for fear of judgment and keeping up appearances. The gist of the post was reach out and help. Buy a coffee, send a card, go grocery shopping for them, cook a meal, babysit, clean their house, take them out for lunch.... whatever the situation deserves. Just do something. Love one another.

However, there is a flip side to that. One that I have struggled with my whole life. 
Let them.
Let them love you.
Sounds so simple, but for some of us, I even dare say most of us, its not.
Whether we are too proud, too embarrassed, or just too sad, we push off any offers.
"Oh no, its ok I've got it!"
"Oh, I'm fine, don't worry about it!"
"I can do that, I don't need it, but thank you!"

How many times have I said this to someone? How many times have you?
I have a dear, close friend who is going through a rough season in her life. Whenever I get the chance to talk to her about it, I tell her to let me help. Because whether or not I am willing to help, that's not the issue. The issue is, will she let me? Will she reach out and ask for it? Will she accept it when I offer?
I sure don't.
We need to realize that its okay to be real with those close to us. Its okay to send a message to your friends and tell them, "I'm not okay right now. I need help."
That's hard!!! That is so hard for me to ask for help. I don't even like asking people to watch my kids when I need it.
I don't know what to solution is. I don't know how we get to the point where we can accept the love and help people try to give. We have to get past any insecurities, fears, worries about what you look like when you need help, or what the other person might think of you. We have to work on building real, authentic relationships with one another. Most everyone has a core circle of friends. What are you doing to advance those relationships?

I recently went to a ministry network meeting with a bunch of other children's ministry workers. We talked about intimacy, which seems weird for kid's ministry, right? It was spot on. It focused on our relationships as adults with one another. Especially, within our ministry. We know the people in our lives. We know their names, probably about their families, some of their background, maybe some likes and dislikes. But are we choosing to create intimacy with those relationships? Our speaker said that intimacy is just shared experiences. Are we creating those shared experiences? Are we putting out bids to spend time with the people we love? Or are we too caught up in our lives that we can't reach outside of ourselves.
I think this goes hand in hand with letting others love you. I think we have to a vulnerable to an extent to let other people in. I am a master wall builder. My whole life I have drawn into myself when things get hard. I start talking less, I start going places less, I just want to stay home in my pajamas and veg out. Or sleep. I have struggled with depression since I was a preteen. I mean what does a preteen really have to be depressed about?
Plenty. Ask them.
And its harder when you are a child because you don't have the life experience or tools to think through it. You have limited solutions, and usually the solutions you come up with are drastic. But we have to come out of our shells and teach each other how to be loved. Talk to your kids. Have those hard conversations about how they are feeling or what is going on with them. Talk about ways to handle their emotions, the good and the bad. Share options with them and give them an outlet to express it. Then do the same for yourself. Find someone to talk through your emotions with. Don't think that you are being a burden. Choose wisely. Choose someone you trust, someone you are willing to let inside your fortress. Sit with them a while and be real. Then when they offer to help, let them. Let them come over and clean your house. No matter how embarrassing it may be, if they are your person, they don't care. Let them come take your kids for a while so you can just sit and read or watch a movie or sleep! Let your friend give you that hug that you know will make you burst into tears, chances are you really need it. Let someone take you out for dinner and a movie. Leave behind the to do list, temporarily, and enjoy yourself. Then maybe ask your friend to help you complete your to do list. 
Let them love you.
Then, you can do the same for them. Give and take. Shared experiences.

Its a lot. Its hard. Life is OVERWHELMING! I even wrote a whole song called I'm Overwhelmed. But if you are waiting for things to calm down before you can fix it, its never going to happen. Its never going to calm down. There will always be really hard things to deal with. But you don't have to deal with them alone!
Reach out to one another. Love one another. Accept the love.