FRUSTRATED
What is going on with my lately?
I feel like I'm just falling apart sometimes.
Like I've done all that I could, it wasn't good enough, and now here I am overwhelmed and frustrated and feeling like a failure.
But the truth is, I haven't done all that I could. I sit here in my house looking into both my living room and my bedroom... both of which are a MESS. I am fully capable of cleaning them. I know I will feel so much better after I do it. So why am I sitting here on the computer typing this?
Because, plain and simple...
I don't wanna.
And if you are anything like me (which I bet some of you are). Its just too much!! I look at my floor. Ok, I can pick everything up off the floor and put it where it goes, but as soon as I walk into one of my kids' rooms, I'll see how messy they are and I'll have to get onto them for not keeping their room clean... but I don't keep my room clean. Hypocrite? Bad parenting? I have no idea.
And then I'll think about how the kids need to eat lunch. What am I going to make for lunch? They have a friend over, so I have to make enough for everyone. Ok, I walk into the kitchen. Sink full of dirty dishes. I need to do the dishes. There's also boxes in the walkway. I need to put those up. But there is no room to put them anywhere. Ugh, we need a storage shed. We have baby stuff and seasonal decorations filling every closet to the brim and then there is a whole mess of stuff under the carport that we need to find a place for. We were supposed to go through all that stuff today, but the husband is out making money. Yeah we need money desperately. He needs a job. We are drowning. Where are we going to put another baby? There is so much dirty laundry in this house. Ugh, I need to clean the living room.....
Yeah, that's what going on in my head today. All the while I have 4 kids running around my house playing like there is not a thing wrong in the world...
I'd like to keep it that way. Can I play, too?
-Candi
I feel like I'm just falling apart sometimes.
Like I've done all that I could, it wasn't good enough, and now here I am overwhelmed and frustrated and feeling like a failure.
But the truth is, I haven't done all that I could. I sit here in my house looking into both my living room and my bedroom... both of which are a MESS. I am fully capable of cleaning them. I know I will feel so much better after I do it. So why am I sitting here on the computer typing this?
Because, plain and simple...
I don't wanna.
And if you are anything like me (which I bet some of you are). Its just too much!! I look at my floor. Ok, I can pick everything up off the floor and put it where it goes, but as soon as I walk into one of my kids' rooms, I'll see how messy they are and I'll have to get onto them for not keeping their room clean... but I don't keep my room clean. Hypocrite? Bad parenting? I have no idea.
And then I'll think about how the kids need to eat lunch. What am I going to make for lunch? They have a friend over, so I have to make enough for everyone. Ok, I walk into the kitchen. Sink full of dirty dishes. I need to do the dishes. There's also boxes in the walkway. I need to put those up. But there is no room to put them anywhere. Ugh, we need a storage shed. We have baby stuff and seasonal decorations filling every closet to the brim and then there is a whole mess of stuff under the carport that we need to find a place for. We were supposed to go through all that stuff today, but the husband is out making money. Yeah we need money desperately. He needs a job. We are drowning. Where are we going to put another baby? There is so much dirty laundry in this house. Ugh, I need to clean the living room.....
Yeah, that's what going on in my head today. All the while I have 4 kids running around my house playing like there is not a thing wrong in the world...
I'd like to keep it that way. Can I play, too?
-Candi
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