Blessed

Just got home from grocery shopping, and was listening to the song "Blessed Be Your Name" which I'm sure most of you have heard. Well, this song is actually pretty special to me. When I had my miscarrige in 2005, this song ministered to me so much. I was sooooo upset, which if you've been through that, you know. And if you haven't, you can imagine. But everyone was telling me that I was dealing with it so well. On the inside I was dead. I was mad, hurt, broken. And then we sang this song in church the next Sunday. I broke down into tears and gave my heart to God. He showed me that He was still in control and that He knew my heart was breaking, but He was there to put it back together. "You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will CHOOSE to say, blessed be Your name." That's what I had to do, choose to say, "I love you God, and you are still Holy and Awesome and Wonderful. Even though you gave me this baby and then took him or her away, I still will bless Your name." One of the hardest moments of my life.... but totally worth it. This may sound really weird to some of you, but stay with me here, lol. Within the next couple of weeks, we sang the song again, and I was praising the Lord with my eyes closed, and I saw in my mind I guess, Jesus holding my baby. And I knew that wasn't the one I lost, its the one I was going to have. It was so comforting and weird, lol. And a couple months later, I was pregnant with my baby boy Bradley!!! So on Sunday morning, we sang this song at our church. The "new" (not so new anymore) church God put us at, when we really didn't want to join another church or make new friends. We were hurt too bad, but He gives and takes away. He took away our old church and gave us a new church, that now, looking back, I wouldn't trade for anything. I think we are EXACTLY where we need to be. So anyway, we sang this song this past Sunday morning, and I was standing there holding Bradley in my arms singing to God, "You give and take away, you give and take away. My heart will choose to say, blessed be Your name." It was an amazing moment to be able to sing that song, on my daughter's 3rd birthday, holding my son, and thinking about the baby I lost, praising the name of God. It was awesome. I just needed to let all that out, and share with you guys. Blessed be the Name of the LORD!! ~Candi