And so it goes....
Life goes on, you can't live in the past, keep moving forward.
That's what they say, but not so easy to follow through with. I have issues, I don't know if anyone else has noticed (yeah right I'm sure you all have) but I am in a constant struggle with myself. I'm sure I am not the only one, I know for a fact that everyone has struggles, most people are just trying to make it through. Get through the day, the week, the month, ect.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive and I really need to just get over it, but I hang onto things that maybe were never resolved, didn't go the way I wanted to, or just were horrible. Still hanging onto my insecurites and self esteem issues I've had since I was a child and teenager.... those were pretty bad back then and just when I think I've got a hold on things, something else knocks me back down.
Still holding onto my parents divorce, that really knocked me down. The summer of 2006, when I was pregnant and my whole world came crashing down. Losing my Dad, losing friends, relationships.... these play out in my head almost everyday, sometimes I am still in the place where everything is falling apart around me or everyone is against me, no one really likes me they just pretend they do because it polite. This is where I go.
So ya see, I do have issues! I like to push everything down, I won't deal with it, I really can't deal with it I have too many other things going on. I now have three children who need me every minute of the day, Emmy is almost 8 months now and started crawling and is teething so she needs me to watch her and soothe her and take care of her every need. Gracie is 4 and she always keeps me on my toes. She is so smart, she just soaks any and all information she can get her hands on. She was born with a built in sassy attitude though, so its a constant job to keep her under control. Then there's my boy, my sweetheart son, Bradley. He is having a hard time this year. He has attention issues which get him into trouble a lot at school. He has gone to his doctor about it and will be seen by the school districts psychiatrist soon so we can see what we can do to help him. He will probably have to get on some medicine which kicks up my anxiety about side affects and how Brad will feel about being a little different than his friends.
Then there are the everyday issues of bills vs money, hosekeeping (where I fail the most) extracurricular activities, teaching children's choir at church, PTO board meetings and activities, volunteering at the school, and doctor's appointments.
Its just a lot. But its what every Mom has to deal with. I'm really lucky that I don't have to work right now to help provide for the family, my husband is managing that alright. But don't say that I don't work, its a full time job to be a stay at home mom! I'm not complaining, I am just venting :-)
Life really isn't as bad as I may think it is all the time. I am beyond blessed, husband, kids, house, car, job, plus extras. I just need to get out of my head and into the Truth.
Thanks for the vent, lol
-Candi
That's what they say, but not so easy to follow through with. I have issues, I don't know if anyone else has noticed (yeah right I'm sure you all have) but I am in a constant struggle with myself. I'm sure I am not the only one, I know for a fact that everyone has struggles, most people are just trying to make it through. Get through the day, the week, the month, ect.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive and I really need to just get over it, but I hang onto things that maybe were never resolved, didn't go the way I wanted to, or just were horrible. Still hanging onto my insecurites and self esteem issues I've had since I was a child and teenager.... those were pretty bad back then and just when I think I've got a hold on things, something else knocks me back down.
Still holding onto my parents divorce, that really knocked me down. The summer of 2006, when I was pregnant and my whole world came crashing down. Losing my Dad, losing friends, relationships.... these play out in my head almost everyday, sometimes I am still in the place where everything is falling apart around me or everyone is against me, no one really likes me they just pretend they do because it polite. This is where I go.
So ya see, I do have issues! I like to push everything down, I won't deal with it, I really can't deal with it I have too many other things going on. I now have three children who need me every minute of the day, Emmy is almost 8 months now and started crawling and is teething so she needs me to watch her and soothe her and take care of her every need. Gracie is 4 and she always keeps me on my toes. She is so smart, she just soaks any and all information she can get her hands on. She was born with a built in sassy attitude though, so its a constant job to keep her under control. Then there's my boy, my sweetheart son, Bradley. He is having a hard time this year. He has attention issues which get him into trouble a lot at school. He has gone to his doctor about it and will be seen by the school districts psychiatrist soon so we can see what we can do to help him. He will probably have to get on some medicine which kicks up my anxiety about side affects and how Brad will feel about being a little different than his friends.
Then there are the everyday issues of bills vs money, hosekeeping (where I fail the most) extracurricular activities, teaching children's choir at church, PTO board meetings and activities, volunteering at the school, and doctor's appointments.
Its just a lot. But its what every Mom has to deal with. I'm really lucky that I don't have to work right now to help provide for the family, my husband is managing that alright. But don't say that I don't work, its a full time job to be a stay at home mom! I'm not complaining, I am just venting :-)
Life really isn't as bad as I may think it is all the time. I am beyond blessed, husband, kids, house, car, job, plus extras. I just need to get out of my head and into the Truth.
Thanks for the vent, lol
-Candi
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