cancer

I hate cancer. It ruins everything. I found out this afternoon that my Dad has stage 4 lung cancer and also it has moved into his brain. Really? What a way to throw your perfectly normal day off course. I knew this was coming, but I just don't know what to do now that its here. I feel like I should do something, but what can I do? I feel like I sent him away, sent away the problem and maybe I shouldn't have? Maybe I should have  been more of a grown up and a better daughter and kept him here to be with him and help him. Now what? Now he's in another state with cancer. Having surgery next week on his brain that he may or may not make it through. And I'm at home helpless.
I just don't know what to do. I want to go to Colorado and be with him if he's near the end. I want to cherish every moment that I have left because you only get one set of parents. You only get one Dad, and mine isn't perfect by any stretch, but he's loved me unconditionally. He's done everything for me he could. He's my Daddy.
It feels surreal. I have friends with parents with cancer, and I've cried and prayed for them. But now, I'm one of those people whose parent has cancer. I've practically already lost my mom, she isn't dead, but she moved away from me and my brother to start her "new happier" life. And now I'm going to lose my Dad.

All I can do is pray. That's what Daniel told me. Pray to the ONE who has the whole world in His hand. Who knows my Dad, and who, I PRAY, my Dad truly knows as he says he does. Father, help. Amen.

Candi